Groundedness

January 1, 2021

Perpetually Question How We Work

Post Pandemic, Continue Asking Why Do We Work the Way We Do.

A.K.A. – Don’t throw out the ham ends…

You may have heard of the baked ham story. The one where the two ends of a ham are cut-off because the oven was too small to accommodate the ham so it had to be put in a smaller pan. Then, generations later, as the “famous” family recipe was handed down, the “tradition” of cutting off each end of the ham continued. Nobody asked why. Maybe family members made up elaborate assumptions on how it affected the flavor or they simply had blind “trust” in Great-Great Grandma May.  It’s a good story to ask “why?” and to do it regularly. As a person who gets a nervous twitch in my right eye every time I see inefficiency, I have a small breath of relief to see remote work continue from the 2019 Novel Coronavirus, for those fortunate to have jobs that allow it. Companies were either forced (by employees or trends) to continue to allow remote work or realized it made for attractive recruiting tactics. Or other reasons that I failed to mention. So for the love of Gilbreth (that is, Frank Bunker Gilbreth, famous efficiency expert), continue asking “why, why, why” and help me manage my eye-twitching.

People seem to be getting more done with less time and needless to say, with less interruptions. Some data reports that 3 interruptions in any given day knocks out 1 hour of your time. People HR says it’s twice that.

And what about the focus time needed to think and process? This is becoming a newly appreciated realization. But let me ask you this: regardless of how much your job requires you to be in the office, how much downtime to think and process do you require to be impactful on a daily basis? (I’m gathering this information in this three minute survey, so please take this if you can – you may even get a Bourbon and Pie sticker for your contribution. One never knows ;)).

To continue on the “why wagon”, and gather more skills to increase effectiveness, here’s a few things to consider:

  1. (Kindly) practice saying “no”. Why are you allowing more work to pile up when you immediately know certain asks of you will kill the next day or week?
  2. Introverts, take heed in this helpful article and avoid an Introvert Hangover.
  3. Remind yourself you have a life outside of work – and if you don’t, find one. Realize you’re not alone with social scarcity with Caution Fatigue still being felt from the pandemic aftermath.

But whatever the case, use the oxygen mask metaphor and put yours on first (AND BREATH) before tackling challenges take you away from the task at hand.

And with all of these areas mentioned, question everything. Constantly. Make it your new habit. Or just keep passing down that same old ham recipe.

June 7, 2020

Be Kind Out There

Inciting Violence Is Not Progress

The outrage is just. But violence? Shouldn’t we have flying cars by now and be communicating to each other via telepathic waves while in our Utopian communities? We’re still doing this? Hurting others, looting or destroying local businesses is like stabbing yourself in your own leg – you’re gonna have a hard time walking for awhile, and it’s a setback you could’ve avoided. My inclination is to assume that the majority of the people protesting are not there to flip over cars – but perhaps some got caught up in the social norms of the mob. Be smart. This is not what you’re about and you know this.

We Are All Important

And for those out there protesting for all good intentions – bless you to care enough and take action rather than frivolously posting famous quotes from MLK, Gandhi and others and sit behind a computer screen (like I’m doing now ;)). Stay strong and above those police officers who would choose to “Neglect and to unnerve.” Rather than “To protect and to serve”.

A woman in Omaha stands bravely and peacefully as police shoot projectiles and tear gas.

Peace Officers, Tell Us Your Stories

And if you’re one of the well-intended men and women of law enforcement who are in it for the right reasons and act with integrity, share your perspectives and stories and why you got into law enforcement to serve peace and protect others. We all want to know there are still some Frank Serpico’s out there – those who have integrity. I know there are good cops because they are my friends and family, literally. They are no Chauvin’s or Jonathan Silva’s who abuse their power, have no self-restraint or racist words or actions. So if you haven’t yet, share something that shows that you are not this picture of police brutality or racism that is being exploited at this moment.

Weed Out The Bad Cops

As for those “bad apples” in law-enforcement, let’s get cracking on them. Here’s some resources that could help you take action:

                 

Look up “Brady lists” : The name, taken from a 1963 Supreme Court ruling, Brady v. Maryland, these are lists that District attorney offices across the state keep of officers who have been identified as potentially problematic witnesses. The reasons that may include information about past dishonesty or other bad behavior of the cops involved in the case. But they’re not always complete and can miss cops who were hired after past jobs in other counties. This is our “Megans Law” list, if you want to stand in question of an officer in your area.

Look up Senate Bill 1421 : This gives the public the right to see certain records relating to police misconduct and serious uses of force. You can now request these records under the Public Records Act (“PRA”) — a law that gives the public the right to see the non-confidential documents of our state and local government agencies.

BLM Keep Going! Be Positive. Be Constructive.

So if you’re supporting Black Lives Matter and already doing what you can with your posts, great. And if you are taking a stance, go beyond words and do something, be a part of something that contributes to positivity. Like the organization Corporate Accountability. Take your resourcefulness, creativity and energy to contribute to a positive cause that is actually doing something other than violence.

As astrophysicist Tom Chi mentioned in a Ted Talk that knowledge and knowing, limits you to learn more. Because you’ve settled. In this context, having a point of view without considering new data is only going to inhibit an understanding of each other. But this is ok if you’re one of those who still think the world is flat. Uh yeah, don’t know what to say to you.

But if you believe in a flying cars and a Utopian Society, you can help make that possibility a reality.

Chris Escobar is a coach for introverts and also enjoys helping teams become efficient. He resides in San Jose California with his amazing wife Boom Boom, two almost-automous teenagers: Zolie and Evanusky, and sassy Bichon, Lola.

June 6, 2020

Time Tools

Regrets, Do You Have a Few?

Have you ever worked on a project, presentation or proposal whereby after it was completed, wished you had more time for incubating ideas or just time in general to properly complete? More importantly, wished you had spoken-up or reached out to the right people to make it better before the project was launched? I know I have, and ended up with the opposite feeling of why Jeff Bezos started Amazon: “Regret Minimization Framework”. He basically didn’t want to look back in his life and have many regrets. And back then, being a part of this Internet thing, to some, looked the same as investing in muscle pants in the 90’s (who knew that they only looked good when rocked with a well-coiffed mullet). But the framework that drove Bezos to start a near $3 billion-dollar business is simple:

Bezo’s Regret Minimization Framework he adopted

And what about you? Did you ever have regret that you didn’t take any action that would ultimately help all involved: you, your colleagues, partners, and ultimately, the company’s bottom line?

And how about those projects, presentations and proposals that you, your team or whole company had to revisit, after a launch, release, or an event? Did you learn anything or did you keep your mouth shut while you contribute to the Redundant Department of Redundancy in rebuilding, revamping and revising? Or perhaps you have your masochistic ways and enjoy the clean-up work with your bitterness and angst seeping through your body language, words and actions while wiping-up the mess.

Would things have been any different had you stepped in and been an advocate for everyone’s time? Could an email, talking to some key people or speaking up in meetings change the course of humankind?  Even if nobody listened to you, you would have at least achieved Regret Minimization. And Bezos would be proud – no, actually he would say, “hell yeah, sista!”. (And then you could say, “I told you so” to those you communicated to…nah! (But it would feel pretty good, right? 😉 ).

Yesterday Is Gone…Or Could Be Gone

When Sir Paul McCartney woke with a melody that came to him in a dream, the only lyrics he could put to it was:

Scrambled eggs, Oh my baby how I love your legs, Not as much as I love scrambled eggs…

Sir Paul McCartney Top Beatle

And that’s all he had for months and months. The song was considered a running joke between bandmates (and if you don’t know who I’m talking about yet, it’s The Beatles 😉 ) Each time the band got in the studio, Sir McCartney tried to convince everyone that he really wanted to record it. Once McCartney finally put together some solid lyrics and replaced “Scrambled eggs” with “Yesterday”, he was able to convince his bandmates and producer George Martin to record the song, which he did solo along with a string quartet. It was finally released in the US as a single in September, 1965. And yet the song was so different from other works by the Beatles that the band members vetoed the release of the song as a single in the United Kingdom.

Despite the differences, Yesterday became musical history and has even been voted as the best song of the 20th century in some circles. It also went on to be covered over 3000 times (as per this writing); those including great artists such as: Elvis, Marvin Gaye, Frank Sinatra, Liberace, and Joan Baez.

So bravo for Sir McCartney for pushing his work.

Do you have a “Yesterday” that you could have pushed to make great?

Some Tools For Your Utility Belt

Here are three tips to enable you to be part of the solution and help contribute to better outcomes when you see an opportunity to share:

  • DON’T THINK. ACT :
    Former NASA-rocket-designer-turned-leading-time-management-expert, Peter Turla said something in his course that I took from him years ago that stuck with me: “If you have to swallow a frog, don’t stare at it too long.” (Peter changed “swallow” to “kiss” to alleviate the thought of consuming a frog). This Mark Twain quote accompanied a rubber frog that Peter gave each of us. I kept it on my desk as a constant reminder to “Just Do It”. And it was an effective tool that kept on giving. So if you have something to say, just say it. And if you think it will come out wrong, you can always apologize to make it right. Just get it out. This is one atrophied muscle that needs to be pumped.
  • DON’T ASSUME EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE DOING :
    That’s the principle of Social Proof : Taking on a particular mode of social behavior that is loaded with assuming that everyone else knows what they’re doing (and they typically don’t). Consequently, you stop trusting your gut instincts. But by knowing this, you’ll likely ask questions and bring things up, which may also help others who have the same questions and concerns.
  • CHANGE SEATS :
    People get used to each other in a setting or meeting cadence, where they observe and learn behaviours of them. These basic survival traits don’t take long to get solidified so they can mentally prepare themselves for their surroundings. Break that. Change your usual seat in the conference room, sit in an alert and engaged manner and actively choose to be present to respond or react to subjects that yearn for your amazing insight. Break the team’s solidified folkways and let them know you are there to make a difference.

Don’t Be Scrambled Eggs

So be an advocate to your ideas and contributions by stepping up and giving them more time and considerations by: Acting, Not-Assuming and Mixing Things Up. Or you can just keep them as scrambled eggs where yesterday would be regret maximization.

Chris Escobar is a coach for introverts and also enjoys helping teams become efficient. He resides in San Jose California with his amazing wife Boom Boom, two almost-automous teenagers: Zolie and Evanusky, and sassy Bichon, Lola.

 

September 2, 2019

Self-Honesty

Are Your Stories Keeping You From the Truth?

You’ve put in the effort, prepared and dedicated time and you’re still not seeing the results you’d like. Some of these stories may assimilate your situations or literally be the following:

  • It’s been three months and you still haven’t come close to your weight loss targets despite your stated efforts in working out every day.
  • You scored low on your AP Physics exam – and your studying claims for the weeks in preparation seems daunting.
  • Your sales numbers are low – despite the fact that you said you spent many hours on the training webinars and are making the sales calls.

Like I said, they’re just stories. Ones that you keep telling your friends, family and colleagues and that you’re even starting to believe yourself. But the operative word here is “real”. And the real stories are:

  • You did not “work out” every day. But you have walked around the block a few times this past week and went to the gym twice in the past two weeks. Close to your story? Umm, yeah, in a hand grenade way – you threw it in the direction it needed to go and may or may not have completed the objective.
  • You’ve spent more of your study time on TikTok and Instagram than you have on your actual AP Physics homework. But hey, you did study something, right?
  • You’ve crippled your way through less than a quarter of the phone calls that the training webinar recommended. But you did say you were “making the sales calls” (just not how many).

Do You Have A False Sense of Self?

If you were honest with yourself, you wouldn’t play the martyr to your situation and stating your own versions of, “I’m the next American Idol!”. As comedic as some of those outtakes of the young and naive Millennial contestants whose false sense of self,  likely contributed from their parents are, I hope they have gotten in touch with some healthy and honest truth. And if youth sports organizations are still giving out participation ribbons or 10th place trophies for just showing up, God help us all. At least tell our children that there is only 1st, 2nd and 3rd in the Olympics – that might help.

Or perhaps there are other reasons why you don’t tell the real story. Pride, embarrassment, hypocrisy, or blasphemy to your own touted achieving statements [insert your own reasons here]. Or maybe you have Anosognosia. A term used for describing medical and health conditions, meaning:

The lack of ability to perceive the realities of one’s own condition. It’s a person’s inability to accept that they have a condition that matches up with their symptoms or a formal diagnosis.
– Anosognosia Definition

Self-Honesty Is Liberating

OK so you’re not that detached from the realities of yourself and situation. That’s good. Because being dishonest is disabling. Ask someone who is open and quite revealing of themselves and expose their humility for all to see. No, don’t ask them. Just watch them and look at their faces. Chances are they are liberated and quite happy people. When you meet them you’ll feel compelled to ask them what they do in hopes you can make a career change to their job (if it doesn’t require a doctorate). As the term says, “The Truth will set you free” and that’s what they are – free. My best friend is one of those people. He has a name, but we’ll call him what I call him, “Shagger”. It’s short for “Sheep Shagger”, which is what one calls another childhood friend in true brotherhood kinship with Welsh  lineage.

He worked for a small electronics company when he was just starting out after college and sold electronics components, wire harnesses, etc. He went to a client who showed him large blue prints layed out on a drafting board, displaying the intricacies of the circuitry specifications. The engineer was spouting off all kinds of terminology and parts needed, so Scott, um, Shagger asked the man if he could take the blue prints with him. He was obliged and walked in through his company door spouting, “I don’t know what I’m doing! I need help figuring things out.” It’s this humility that gave way for other people to jump in to help him. No ego. Just trying to get his stuff done. When I heard the story at that time, I would have never thought to do that and would let my ego get in the way to never admitting I didn’t know anything.

Focus Your Energy on Doing For Good.

“To hide a lie, a thousand lies are needed.”. And you know that one lie leads to another lie. Even the smallest of white lies takes energy to continue with the lie. And then it hijacks your energy. But Mark Twain said it best: “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” Mark Twain Random, old writer dude w/ bad hair That means you’ll have more energy to put into the things that matter, stuff you need to do, and the energy to make you happier.

Here Are Three Things To Get You To Self-Honesty:

Remember, these dishonest stories can get elaborate, grow and evolve like the Poison Fire Coral fungus, which, ironically, can literally shrink your brain by just touching it. So get the real story out there, own it and contribute to the next better version of you.

Chris Escobar is a coach for introverts and also enjoys helping teams become efficient. He resides in San Jose California with his amazing wife Boom Boom, two almost-automous teenagers: Zolie and Evanusky, and sassy Bichon, Lola.

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